Top 8 Perform Some Stuff!

Another week of Idol, another week of Fun? This week is Baby Photo Week, also known as Sing a Song From the Year You Were Born Week. Since most of the contestants fall in the 1980-1992 range I was hoping for some awesome Hits of the 80’s, but maybe they are saving that for 80’s Night. Here’s to hoping!

Before we start the show we are subjected to baby photos of all the judges, just to make it fair and all. Randy is adorable in that precocious child wearing a bowtie way. Kara looks like she doodied in her diaper. Paula is at least 7 in her photo which raises a lot of questions that I won’t get into at the moment. Simon is also 7 in his photo, but dressed like a Trekkie and it’s awesome; laser gun and all. Last but not least Ryan has the most amazing buck teeth ever seen on a child in the history of the world. Paula wants to feed him carrots. Love!

Danny Gokey – Stand By Me – Ben E. King
Danny kicks off the night and I’m sighing at the prospect of another dedication to his dead wife. He surprises me (and all the other cynical asses out there) by singing this classic. Oh wait, this song isn’t about boys finding dead bodies in the woods, it’s about the night, and not being afraid, and please don’t leave me ever spirit of my dead wife. Damn you Gokey, I’ll get you for this. The song itself starts out terrible, kind of picks it up in the end but I don’t like his version. Danny’s got talent for sure, he just needs to stop being a complete tool. Paula is spewing nonsense, as well as nonsensical dancing. That was really not that good. Simon thinks its great. Boo!

Kris Allen – All She Wants To Do Is Dance – Don Henley
Is there something wrong with me? Or is this starting out as the worst night of Idol ever? Do I say that every week? Sorry. Kris wanted to grow up to be a Taxi Cab driver, which was my dream too! (for about a year, after watching Wynona Rider in Night on Earth) Perhaps if Kris became a singing taxi cab driver he would make a ton of money! He could be like a novelty person that they feature on some seldom watched TV show. He’s gotten a bit too confident after last week’s performance. This is way too cheesy. Plus this song sucks. And those drums and his mic skills are not helping him. Melodically Same Notes Song, Paula? Is that a genre of music I’m not familiar with? Really? Simon finally owns his own hotness. Woot!

Lil Rounds – What’s Love Got To Do With It – Tina Turner
Lil has got some pipes, and she looks REALLY good tonight. It’s the best performance so far, but I’m not loving it. This leaves a lot of room for Adam to steal the show. Simon calls it a ghastly copycat performance. Lil looks like she’s just had her heart cut out. Aw Lil, she makes me want to cry. But she does look hot tonight.

Anoop Desai – True Colors – Cindy Lauper
Anoop apologizes for being a fratty douchebag last week, and I’m not talking about his song. Anoop and I share the only child curse of having a million pictures taken of us as a kid. Once some people came over to my house and thought my parents had five daughters. FIVE! Ooof. What is he wearing? I’m pretty sure I also owned that cardigan in about the 5th grade. When did he get so nasally? Is that supposed to be an R&B version? I still kind of enjoyed it though. Go Figure.

Scott McIntyre– The Search Is Over – Survivor
Oh my Gosh. How awesome would it be if Scott came out and just started playing spooky Halloween music on the piano with some ghostly moaning and sudden screaming? (If I produced Idol I’m pretty sure only mental patients and those with tourettes would watch it) In the real world he starts out pretty good with him on the mic, and completely falls apart when the band kicks it to high gear. Those high notes make me cringe. The music is completely discordant with his singing. Who is this in the audience? Hello! Scott totally has a hottie for a brother! Hubba hubba. Hope you are still here next week, Hot Brother!

Allison Iraheta – I Can’t Make You Love Me – Bonnie Raitt
Allison definitely went through some serious style phases as a child. Unfortunately what she’s wearing these days isn’t much better. Only a very slight improvement over last week, but she sounds GREAT! She’s got the total Bonnie Raitt voice without sounding like an imitation. Amanda Obermeyer could take a lesson or two from little Allison. Here come the Kelly Clarkson comparisons.

Matt Girard – Part Time Lovers – Stevie Wonder
My gracious friend Scott pointed out the mole on Matt’s forehead to me last night, and now I can’t stop staring at it. Thanks for that Scottie! Holy baby Forhead! (minus the mole) He’s so adorable. Oh good, he’s wearing a hat. This is pretty good. I like his interpretation, and the scatting didn’t suck. The judges are shitting their pants, which I find kind of funny. But I also thinks he totally deserves it.

Adam Lambert – Mad World – Tears for Fears
Who is that freckley redheaded kid? He’s so cute. What happened? This song totally reminds of something that I can’t put my finger on*. He looks like he’s sitting in the chair because he has to crap. Not sure if the surfer chic hairdo really suits him. He performs the song really well. It’s just about perfect for his range and his voice. However I don’t think he deserved a standing O from Simon. I thought Matt and Allison were better tonight.

Top 3 – Allison, Matt & Adam
Bottom 3 – Scott, Danny & Kris

*Oh yes, Danny Darko. Thanks internets (Go Sparkle Motion!)