American Idol – Final Two Perform

We start with a montage extravaganza from auditions to the finals stage.
THIS is aMERican Idol!
Ryan struts awkwardly down the stage to welcome us to the Final Showdown. Acoustic Rocker vs. the Glam Rocker. The Guy Next Door vs. the Guyliner. (groan!) Randy is mixing plaid with polkadots. Kara looks relatively normal. Paula is visible in bright green. Simon is actually wearing a jacket. Adam and Kris are presented to lots of cheers and what the heck does Adam have around his neck? Metal fringe on this v-neck t-shirt. We will see three songs tonight: their own favorite performance from the season, a song chosen by the secret Simon (Fuller) and the winner’s single, co-written by Kara.

Adam Lambert – Mad World – Gary Jules
Apparently Adam has always been a screamer, much to the chagrin of his parents. Adam actually chooses my favorite song of his from the year he was born. I totally forgot about this song, but now I’m reminded it was one of my favorites. Franny (who is sitting next to me) thinks we’re actually watching some alternate reality version of Phantom of the Opera. She’s not too far off. The performance is perfect and moving, but doesn’t really pack a punch. Randy gives him an A+. Kara tells him he set the bar back then with the song and did it again tonight. Paula’s brain got baked in the tanning booth. Simon doesn’t like Phantom of the Opera apparently, he must share a brain with Franny.

Kris Allen – Ain’t No Sunshine – Bill Withers
His parents are maybe even cuter than he is, and obviously love him very much. So he’s got that going for him. Pretty soon into the song he kicks it up that notch which Adam was lacking. He’s beautiful and perfect and I wish he would come to my house with those coupons and sing for me. Simon’s golf clap is not entirely encouraging though. Randy thinks it was one of his best performances ever on the stage. Kara loves his intimate bond. Paula tries to communicate with some spirits. Simon gets dollar signs in his eyes for Kris for the first time. Welcome to the party, Simon!

Ryan brings us back by saying tonight is too close to call, even though Simon just called the first round for Kris. Way to pay attention, Ryan.

Adam Lambert – Change is Gonna Come – Sam Cooke
Adam is dressed like a hipster at a tradeshow. Or something like that. After 9 weeks of Adam outfits I’ve kind of run out of words. He looks like he’s about to cry during the entire performance, which may in fact be true. And if it were would be rather sweet. He makes the song his own, with out going overboard on the screeching, so that’s encouraging. Like I said last week, there’s not much you can fault Adam for anymore. Randy tells him he can sing his face off (but maybe not through the make-up). Kara thinks it was his best performance and interpretation. Paula is about to lasso up her little cash pony. Simon welcomes him back to the competition.

Kris Allen – What’s Going On – Marvin Gaye
Kris is sitting with his guitar serenading us all with his velvet voice and nimble fingers. Can I just take this moment to say that Simon Fuller should pick all the songs all the time, because he is really good at it! However, it maybe wasn’t as pumped up a performance as it should be. This is the big dance, Kris. I hope you kill the cheesy number at the end! Randy calls it light. Kara inspires Kris to become a hippie political singer. He could be like the FreeCreditReport.com guy, but for world peace! Paula got fast forwarded. Simon was having flashbacks to his misspent youth. Not as strong a performance as it should have been.

Adam Lambert – No Boundries – Co-Written by Kara DioGuardi, Kathy Dennis & Mitch Allen
My goodness it’s hard to critique a song you’ve never heard before. Especially one for which you are already putting on your cynical face before it even starts. This is where the competition totally loses me, because who on earth that likes Adam wants to listen to him sing this trite, cloying, clichéd crap? If he loses the competition because of his performance of this song, I think he will actually have won. In life. Randy says ‘Yo’, and some other stuff. Kara thanks him for singing a song she co-wrote. Paula …? Simon refuses to judge the song and basically calls it crap while Kara says ‘I know, I know’. If you’re going to write that shit Kara, you have to own it. Simon instead judges Adam on being the best idol competitor ever in the history of the show. So there you go.

Kris Allen – No Boundries – Co-Written by Kara DioGuardi, Kathy Dennis & Mitch Allen
Kris forgoes the piano and guitar to sing it straight into the mic. And he pulled out his Members Only jacket for the special occasion. Kris’ singing style is much better suited for this song, but I think he just forgot the lyrics! Ooops! He seems to be struggling with the high notes. This isn’t looking like a great song choice for either contestant. I think also maybe he’s singing the entire thing off key. Maybe he’s doing it on purpose so he doesn’t have to include the song on his first album, because you know there is going to be one. Either way, good strategy on both his and Adam’s parts. Randy thought the song fit Kris better. Kara hopes people vote for him based on the entire season, which, if we’re going to do that, would make Adam the winner by a mile. Kris is the comeback kid, but he didn’t quite sink his last shot. Paula wishes him luck. Simon congratulates him on deserving to be there and actually means it in one of those rare, heartfelt Simon moments.

Ryan wraps up the show without any more boxing metaphors. Good job, Ryan, that was so last season!

Thanks for reading and see you next year!