American Idol – Final Two Perform

We start with a montage extravaganza from auditions to the finals stage.
THIS is aMERican Idol!
Ryan struts awkwardly down the stage to welcome us to the Final Showdown. Acoustic Rocker vs. the Glam Rocker. The Guy Next Door vs. the Guyliner. (groan!) Randy is mixing plaid with polkadots. Kara looks relatively normal. Paula is visible in bright green. Simon is actually wearing a jacket. Adam and Kris are presented to lots of cheers and what the heck does Adam have around his neck? Metal fringe on this v-neck t-shirt. We will see three songs tonight: their own favorite performance from the season, a song chosen by the secret Simon (Fuller) and the winner’s single, co-written by Kara.

Adam Lambert – Mad World – Gary Jules
Apparently Adam has always been a screamer, much to the chagrin of his parents. Adam actually chooses my favorite song of his from the year he was born. I totally forgot about this song, but now I’m reminded it was one of my favorites. Franny (who is sitting next to me) thinks we’re actually watching some alternate reality version of Phantom of the Opera. She’s not too far off. The performance is perfect and moving, but doesn’t really pack a punch. Randy gives him an A+. Kara tells him he set the bar back then with the song and did it again tonight. Paula’s brain got baked in the tanning booth. Simon doesn’t like Phantom of the Opera apparently, he must share a brain with Franny.

Kris Allen – Ain’t No Sunshine – Bill Withers
His parents are maybe even cuter than he is, and obviously love him very much. So he’s got that going for him. Pretty soon into the song he kicks it up that notch which Adam was lacking. He’s beautiful and perfect and I wish he would come to my house with those coupons and sing for me. Simon’s golf clap is not entirely encouraging though. Randy thinks it was one of his best performances ever on the stage. Kara loves his intimate bond. Paula tries to communicate with some spirits. Simon gets dollar signs in his eyes for Kris for the first time. Welcome to the party, Simon!

Ryan brings us back by saying tonight is too close to call, even though Simon just called the first round for Kris. Way to pay attention, Ryan.

Adam Lambert – Change is Gonna Come – Sam Cooke
Adam is dressed like a hipster at a tradeshow. Or something like that. After 9 weeks of Adam outfits I’ve kind of run out of words. He looks like he’s about to cry during the entire performance, which may in fact be true. And if it were would be rather sweet. He makes the song his own, with out going overboard on the screeching, so that’s encouraging. Like I said last week, there’s not much you can fault Adam for anymore. Randy tells him he can sing his face off (but maybe not through the make-up). Kara thinks it was his best performance and interpretation. Paula is about to lasso up her little cash pony. Simon welcomes him back to the competition.

Kris Allen – What’s Going On – Marvin Gaye
Kris is sitting with his guitar serenading us all with his velvet voice and nimble fingers. Can I just take this moment to say that Simon Fuller should pick all the songs all the time, because he is really good at it! However, it maybe wasn’t as pumped up a performance as it should be. This is the big dance, Kris. I hope you kill the cheesy number at the end! Randy calls it light. Kara inspires Kris to become a hippie political singer. He could be like the FreeCreditReport.com guy, but for world peace! Paula got fast forwarded. Simon was having flashbacks to his misspent youth. Not as strong a performance as it should have been.

Adam Lambert – No Boundries – Co-Written by Kara DioGuardi, Kathy Dennis & Mitch Allen
My goodness it’s hard to critique a song you’ve never heard before. Especially one for which you are already putting on your cynical face before it even starts. This is where the competition totally loses me, because who on earth that likes Adam wants to listen to him sing this trite, cloying, clichéd crap? If he loses the competition because of his performance of this song, I think he will actually have won. In life. Randy says ‘Yo’, and some other stuff. Kara thanks him for singing a song she co-wrote. Paula …? Simon refuses to judge the song and basically calls it crap while Kara says ‘I know, I know’. If you’re going to write that shit Kara, you have to own it. Simon instead judges Adam on being the best idol competitor ever in the history of the show. So there you go.

Kris Allen – No Boundries – Co-Written by Kara DioGuardi, Kathy Dennis & Mitch Allen
Kris forgoes the piano and guitar to sing it straight into the mic. And he pulled out his Members Only jacket for the special occasion. Kris’ singing style is much better suited for this song, but I think he just forgot the lyrics! Ooops! He seems to be struggling with the high notes. This isn’t looking like a great song choice for either contestant. I think also maybe he’s singing the entire thing off key. Maybe he’s doing it on purpose so he doesn’t have to include the song on his first album, because you know there is going to be one. Either way, good strategy on both his and Adam’s parts. Randy thought the song fit Kris better. Kara hopes people vote for him based on the entire season, which, if we’re going to do that, would make Adam the winner by a mile. Kris is the comeback kid, but he didn’t quite sink his last shot. Paula wishes him luck. Simon congratulates him on deserving to be there and actually means it in one of those rare, heartfelt Simon moments.

Ryan wraps up the show without any more boxing metaphors. Good job, Ryan, that was so last season!

Thanks for reading and see you next year!

Top 3 Elimination night

Shocker!!!!


Kris is in and Danny is out!
No one looked more shocked than Kris himself!

What do you guys think?

Although I am sad for my PopPool picks, I am personally happy that Krist gets to be in the Finale. His masterful song aranging and ability to play multiple musical instruments, along with his cute baby face and underdog appeal pushed him passed Danny and into the finals.

Thank goodness Adam is still in there. Did anyone notice how beautiful he sang that little bit of the national athem? Awesome. He is an amazing singer.

So, who is going to win? Will America be able to look past Kris's sideways mouth-singing and funny faces? Will America be able to put up with Adam's white tongue sticking out and smarmy looks at the camera? Will this be about who America loves most or who is the best singer or both? Or, will it be about who doesn't bug us the most?

Let's face it, both these guys seem like nice guys. Either way they win.

The Top 3 Perform – Goodbye, Kris!

It’s the 300th episode of American Idol! Have I really spent 300 or more hours with Ryan Seacrest? Awesome. He introduces the “Three Amigos” (lame!) and the judges. Randy is the same as always. Kara had some kind of blowout. Paula is hiding behind her chair. Simon is feeling feisty tonight! I have a way of knowing these things.

Adam, Kris & Danny have reached the hometown heroes stage of the competition; keys to the cities, blah blah blah, bumrushing. What?

Tonight they will each be singing two songs; one judge's choice and one their own.

Danny Gokey (Paula’s choice) – Dance Little Sister – Terence Trent D’Arby
I don’t know this song really, so it’s hard to tell if it’s an imitation and if the judges will think it’s original or if Paula will back him up simply because it’s her choice. It sounds super cheesy to me with a popcorn chorus. And scatting vs. saxaphone? What is that? Definitely not a highlight of this show, which is what it needs to be at this point. Randy thinks it was a good start with lots of energy. Though Kara thinks his tone is good, she knocks his dorky dancing. Paula gives him props for his choreography so we know she’s high. Simon complements his vocals but thinks the sax thing was lame and that he could have sung a better TTD song.

During Danny’s numbers Simon tries to drug Paula with some chloroform and drag her off the stage. It’s so cute how OCD poster boy, Ryan, gets so uncomfortable when things get a little out of hand on his show.

Kris Allen (Randy & Kara) – Apologize – One Republic
The mayor hands Kris a GIANT box with a tiny little phone in it to find out his judge’s pick. Kris is at the piano which is an interesting choice for this song. I love this song, and I love Kris, but maybe not the two together. It seems like he’s trying a bit to hard. It’s a weird mix between trying to make the song his own and performing an imitation. He seems a bit reprimanded already as he gets up from the piano. Randy backs up his own song choice. Kara tells him it was a nice performance, but wishes he had hit it out of the park. Paula stumbles over some nonsense and mentions one bad note. Simon, still kind of miffed that Paula got away during the commercial break, knocks Kara’s critique. He’s really on fire tonight. I LOVE it. I completely forgot what he said about Kris, though.

Ryan tries to step in to break up the... oh wait, now Kara is strangling Simon! What is going on here?!?!

Adam (Simon’s choice) – One – U2
Is Adam wearing silver make up like a pretend robot street performer? Does Adam ever cease to amaze me? The answer to both questions is NO! This is probably Adam’s straightest performance on the show to date, and it’s absolutely beautiful. When he gets to the big section it kind of goes all screechy and crazy Adam-like. Not sure I love it, but what will the judges think? Look, at this point (and pretty much from the get go) it’s impossible to criticize Adam’s singing because it’s pretty much perfect. So it all comes down to a matter of taste and I think he has proven himself to be the lone Krispy Kreme doughnut in the middle of a Weight Watchers meeting. Randy is the only one with me (insert weight joke here). Kara is starry eyed. Paula is speechless. Simon is gloating.

Danny Gokey – You are so beautiful – Joe Cocker
Booooring. Danny pulls out all the stops in one more chance to pay tribute to his dead wife. It’s overwrought, overemotional, and I’m totally over it. Sorry Danny. I know I will probably be looking at you up on that stage next week, but I’m not going to like it. Not even for a minute. Randy tells him he can really, really, really sing. Kara calls him stunning and nothing else. Paula lost her breath and her brain. Simon calls it a vocal master class. Oy vey.

Kris Allen – Heartless – Kanye West
So far I like Kris’ song choices the best. But as of right now I haven’t heard him sing. So well see how this goes. I will admit I am totally biased towards the popular songs as opposed to the classics. I can see why people might pick Danny over this, but I think it’s pretty amazing. Randy likes this version better than all the other versions produced of this song. Sweet. Kara calls him bold, brave and fearless. Paula rambles on while Simon rolls his eyes at her. When it’s finally Simo's turn he beats around the bush quite a bit before telling him he’s back in the competition.

Adam Lambert – Cryin' – Aerosmith
I’m so glad they saved this song for last because I can tell from the first note that it’s going to be so totally awesome that the audience is going to completely lose their shit harder than they have all season. I bet if they showed the judges table they would all be making out with each other while patting themselves on their backs. If that’s possible. Randy tells him he should be a rock star (um, isn’t he already?). Kara says see you at the final, but not with a lot of confidence. Paula’s talking about flying around. Simon refuses to suck up, because he doesn’t want the voters to forget to vote for Adam, because he’s so inherently awesome that they would just assume he’d be there.

See you in the finals, Adam!

[ed note: I wasn’t really blown away by any of the performances tonight. I remember being pretty blown away last season during the Top 3, so here’s to hoping the Final Two don’t disappoint!]

Top 4 Results Night!

Goodbye to Allison – and hello to more performances venues than your local La Curacao Market!

Last night’s show opened with some dramatic clips from last night’s show, and Ryan, once again, walking without falling down the Adam Lambert Memorial staircase. (Again, can he at least trip once?)

Idol wastes no time in getting to the Vommercial – featuring all the contestants as “Flat Stanleys.”

Next we get to hear Slash or “\” playing guitar with the kids to “School’s Out for Summer,” and conveniently Slash has an album coming out soon that Ryan promptly spoke of. Hollywood and shameless promos. Ewe.

Next, we think we are going to get some RESULTS. But, no such luck. Instead, we get to watch Paula dance and lip synch. And, I was impressed. She must be around fifty years old, and she looked great and still can dance. Nice. But, I kinda thought it was presumptuous and tacky that her lyrics said, “I really didn’t mean to turn you on.” Yuck – cooties!

Next, we get to see Gwen Stefani and No Doubt perform “I’m Just a Girl.” Gwen ware a white tank with a lime green bra underneath, black pants, and a sparkly handkerchief hanging from the back of her pants. She is really beautiful, so it doesn’t really matter what she wears, but I was just wondering, “Why?” I guess this is her workout outfit, because she got a set of push-ups in on stage. I was a little confused by her statement, “I had all the babies, and I didn’t want to be at home anymore,” statement. Awe, heck, they’re probably 6 and under and can fend for themselves now, I guess. Or, they can live on a tour bus. All her kids’ friends are going to be jealous if that’s true.

Anyways…. More RESULTS! Kris is safe! (Oh man! Now my PopPool game is really going to suffer.)

Next, we hear Daughtry. I enjoyed this, but was preoccupied with how much higher he was singing than I remembered, and I was extremely preoccupied with his “chin-jaw line-goatee-beard.” I even drew a little sketch of it.

RESULTS: Adam, safe. Danny, safe! No!!!!! Allison is going home. Well – she is going to be fine. She is so young, and has so much singing to do! Go Allison!

Did you get your picks right? I got knocked down from 3rd to 4th in one pool – dang! Darn you, Brad!

Top 4 Perform - School of Rock

Idol and I have had somewhat of an on again/off again relationship this year. I’d like for us to spend more time together, but it just doesn’t seem to be working out as planned.

Of the remaining four contestants, it should be pretty obvious that two of them have tonight in the bag before Ryan even does his schtick. I’m a little worried about my boy Kris, and I’m secretly hoping that Danny (or even Allison) blows it big time to keep him in the competition a little longer. Adam is totally safe tonight. With his skills, background and the way he scared the C.R.A.P. out of everyone last Wednesday, I’m pretty sure the votes for him will be pouring in.

After explaining the entire disaster movie plot that took place on the stage earlier in the week, where allegedly several people were killed and others were running around with limbs missing, Ryan informs us that tonight will consist of six duets [ed note: I was totally wrong about this]. I guess rock night was just a little bit too much of an advantage for some contestants one contestant so they decided to level the playing field. Without a “proper” dress rehearsal (see above), this might be the second biggest disaster of the week.

Slash shows up as the Teacher of the Week at the School of Rock. I hope next year they get Buckethead!

Adam Lambert (noted: not a duet) – Whole Lotta Love – Led Zepplin
Adam's breasts make their second appearance on the Idol stage. He sings the song exactly how you think he would sing the song, and somehow it comes off as not being that original. For Adam. He’s definitely the contestant that can pull off Led Zepplin, and he pretty much rocks the house. Randy gives him the thumbs up and Kara is a little embarrassed that they are wearing the same jacket. Paula blathers for a second while my eyes glaze over and Simon gives him props for taking on Led Zepplin and winning the evening already. So are we done then? Nope, it’s time for…

Allison Iraheta – Cry Baby – Janis Joplin
Allison tones down the wacky outfit thing a bit tonight… for Rock Night? Shocking! What is not shocking, however, is the way she sounds exactly like Janis Joplin. The judges want her to sing with a little more melody and not just shout out the power notes. I think she’s going to be the second best of the night, and it’s all downhill from here. I hope they prove me wrong.

I wonder if they drew straws for the duets, because it’s definitely an interesting choice to put the two weakest and the two strongest rock singers together.

Kris Allen & Danny Gokey – Renegade – Stix
It starts out with really weak solos from each guy, but then their harmonies sound really great together. Danny takes the first few verses and though he sings on key, his voice isn’t quite big enough for the song. Kris’ is even thinner. They should have just sung the whole song at the same time, because that part sounds good! Until the end… Ouch! Randy totally agrees with me (Yo Dawg!). Kara repeats Randy. Paula kisses both their butts because the sight of the two of them on stage makes her tongue melt. Simon tells them Danny was better. He kind of was, but not that much better!

Kris Allen – Come Together – Beatles
Kris wants to pee his pants he’s so excited to be playing with Slash. Who wouldn’t?! It’s just too awesome for words. His performance is awesome. I don’t even care what the judges have to say. He rocks it out, doesn’t reach beyond his abilities, has fun playing the guitar and made a good song choice. Bullseye! Randy gives him props for bringing out the rock in him. Kara punches him in the face. Paula blathers so I can’t even hear her anymore. Simon totally does not have my back tonight. You’re of no use to me, Cowell.

Danny Gokey – Dream On – Aerosmith
Based on the rehearsal it looks like Danny is seriously going to choke tonight. Also, I’m not sure if dressing like a banker is the best way to embody the genre of rock ‘n’ roll. He looks totally awkward and out of place on the stage and within the song itself. It’s like the whole time he’s thinking ahead to the big high notes at the end and forgetting where he is in the performance. The end comes crashing down all around him like the giant metal American Idol column. Good Lord that was awful. I think I spied a headless Teamster running off to the med tent. The judges sugarcoat their negative critics like he can’t handle the truth. Simon calls it out for what it was and redeems himself (in my eyes) once again. He sure has an interesting way of doing that.

Allison Iraheta & Adam Lambert – Slow Ride – Foghat
Strum, Strum, Strum… Slow ride… Strum, Strum, Strum… Take it easy…
Warning! Slow Ride will never sound the same after learning how to play Guitar Hero to that song. Strum, Strum, Strum. This is the weirdest duet I have ever seen. They each just stand there and do nothing while waiting for their turn. They are not singing together at all, and their harmonies can’t even touch Danny and Kris. (Did I really just type that? Hard to believe, eh?) It’s more competition than working together to make the song greater than the sum of its parts. Randy used to play in Foghat or something because he loves it. Kara and Paula love it as well. Simon? Don’t leave me hanging… Oh, (insert sound of something falling). All four judges leave me to reevaluate my very existence. At least as it relates to recapping this show.

What did you think?

Bottom Three: Allison, Danny & Kris
Top Three: Adam, Allison & Kris
(see what I did there?)

Top Five Results Night

Top 5 results night: The shocking and not so shocking.

The NOT shocking:

1. Ryan NOT tripping (again, darn it) on the downward stairs walk.
2. Randy booing like a high-schooler when Simon was announced
3. Danny being safe.
4. Matt being in the bottom 2.

The shocking:

1. Adam being in the bottom 2.

Let’s get to the details! Simon admitted that when he reviewed the show, all five contestants were really good. I have to agree.

AI wasted no time getting to the Ford Vommercial, which insinuated that driving a fusion through the desert brings grass and flowers. Really?

Then we get a really uncomfortable few minutes: the staged American Idol food fight in the Idol house. This was really awkward and I even felt uncomfortable. Are you really going to make a big old mess in a mansion that you know you don’t even have to clean up because they can afford to hire people to do that? In this economy? And then Ryan hands a real or fake bill to Danny and I think I felt a little cockiness from him when he commented that Idol makes enough money to get someone else to clean it. Hmmm. Me no likey that part.

RESULTS: The kids are grouped in 2 groups: Matt and Kris vs. Allison and Danny. Then Ryan asks Adam which group is safe. Adam handled this really really well. He showed that he didn’t like it, but he didn’t chicken out either. He said, “Based on last night – this group (Allison and Danny.)” Nice. This would have worked perfectly for Adam, except Ryan grabs his shoulder and steers him over to suddenly, for the first time, to be in the bottom 3 with Matt and Kris.

Then, another lame uncomfortable moment with Junior High School student Randy involving Kara and jaw dropping and “that’s what happens with Adam.” I think Ryan was involved in that innuendo, too, but mostly Randy. Boys.

Next we got to hear Natalie Cole. She was super classy, with a full brass jazz band to back her up. She looked beautiful, and wrote “her legs look really skinny,” and “she’s tall!” She wore a gold satin pillow case tied at her waist. (I later read she’s awaiting a kidney transplant! Wow.)

Then we got to hear Taylor Hicks. He looks good and nicely groomed. And, I had to remember his best feature: his great smile! And, everyone playing with him (band, back-up singers, everyone) looked like they were having a great time. That’s good because I thought the song was kind of boring and I would NOT buy that for a dollar.

RESULTS: One person is safe – Kris!!! This was a serious shocker, as I was almost sure it was going to be Adam.

Then, we got to sort-of hear Jamie Fox sing “Blame it.” I did not get this. I kept waiting for his voice to become a real voice instead of a robot voice. The song had lots of potential…. But anyone could be singing it…. Heck, a computer could be “singing it.” The whole time his back-up singer kept yelling behind him. I seriously can’t believe this is the number one song in the nation.

RESULTS: Adam is safe. Matt is out. Whew. I feel better now. I am still proud to be a “Glambert” and the Giraud Squad’s votes will have to go elsewhere now. But, what does this mean? Maybe Adam won’t win the whole thing? (Even though he is the best SINGER, and ARTIST in my opinion.) Will Danny and all his Sophia’s Heart supporters vote him into the win? Danny is the only contestant now to never see the bottom 3. What do you guys think?

Most Disturbing Results Night Ever

It took me a full 24 hours to recover from Wednesday night’s “Disco Results Show,” and I’m now ready for the recap.

Most disturbing: The 60-year-old plus disco segments. Hands down, most disturbing American Idol appearance of Season 8. What the heck? Chime in here, everyone! Which was the most disturbing? A: Freda Payne not being able to sing on key or even sing along with the music; B: Thelma Houston’s threatening v-neck necklace – ready to pop out some 60-year-old boob, or; C: KC without his Sunshine band, wearing a too-tight red shirt with some singers who were a lame parody to Flo Rida’s group a few weeks ago. Yuck, I feel dirtied.

Now that I have that nightmare out of the way, I can go on to the recap of the results show.

But, it’s not that simple. Paula had to come in and “choreograph” the Group Song. Apparently this took 2 days, and they still had to lip-synch the song. I have to hand it to the kids, though. They took it all in stride, and pretended to have fun. (Adam, I’m so sorry…. You are above this.) And, was anyone else worried that Paula was going to flash everyone with her dress being so short? Ryan Seacrest seemed very concerned a couple times. And, why does Paula get flowers for her “choreography” and not anyone else who’s ever done it? Whatever!

Results: …… Okay, I barely blinked and Ryan said Lil was out. This has to be a record for the shortest results info ever.

Next, we have the 60-year-old Disco Nightmare. (As you read above, this took me a full 24-hour recovery period.) Again, I have to point out that this was very disturbing. Good points: Thelma Houston still can sing, Freda Payne has nicely defined arm muscles, and KC still has SOME hair.

Results: Kris=safe. (Good – he was awesome.) Adam= safe (duh.) Danny = safe (even sporting no glasses.) Anoop = bottom 3. Allison = bottom 3. Matt = safe. (What?) Matt is so incredibly lucky.

Then, David Archuleta sang, “Touch My Hand,” and was cute and incredibly boring. Blah. Whatev. And, was that someone’s mom playing the keyboards? So weird.

Then, Allison is safe (thank God.) Anoop – aka sweat above my lip – Desai – goes home. His recap of his journey reminded us that he really seems to be a nice guy, and we all hope he does well. I send him rainbows and kittens.

And, as for Lil… the sass of her and her mom will take them far. She is a fighter and she is strong. She will do fine. Go Lil!!!!

And, as for my boys Matt, Danny, and Adam…… You go! Allison – you are amazing as well. Kris……. I am pleasantly surprised by you! Now we are down to the hardcore competitors. I can’t wait to hear what they are going to do next!!!! What about you?

Top 7 Perform... Disco?

Starting out tonight’s show we get to relive Matt’s unprecedented save on Idol. Let’s hope he doesn’t fuck it up tonight. Two will have to go home tomorrow leaving only 5 contestants. Are we here already? I never thought we’d make it.

THIS is A MER ican Idol

Apparently there is no guest judge this week. After the non-contributing zero that was Quinten Tarantino, perhaps they chucked the whole idea.

I always have to brace myself for Disco Night, for some reason it just leads to bad things. Even on So You Think You Can Dance. Bottom line: no one shines on Disco Night. Will I be proven wrong? Not by Lil.

Lil Rounds – I’m Every Woman – Chaka Khan
Lil stays on stage as the other Idols file out so we can get a good gander at her amazing jumpsuit. She can definitely pull it off. The back up singers are singing the chorus better than Lil. It’s a bit jittery, and not very strong. Too much jumping around, but she looks slammin in her jumpsuit. I like sexy Lil. Finally she doesn’t look 40. Although the song dates her a bit. The judges eat her alive and then spit out her bling in disgust.

Kris Allen – She Works Hard For the Money – Donna Summer
Kris totally makes the song his own, but loses a little of the oomph in the translation. There’s a street walking tiger in there wanting to burst out, but he seems to hold in the reins a little bit. He’s so cute though. Hey Paula, “classy” is not the first word that pops into my head when I think of Santana. And if you want to call him ballsy for singing a woman’s song, don’t take it to the lingerie department of Bloomingdales. Underwear, what? Ryan wants to rub his nipples.

Danny Gokey– September – Earth, Wind and Fire
Finally he doesn’t sing a song about his dead wife and it sucks. Go Figure. Okay Danny, I will let you sing about her some more if you promise not to suck so bad.. Oh my ears. Lady judges love it, as do the male ones, begrudgingly.

Allison Iraheta – Hot Stuff – Donna Summer
Alison is also rockin a black skintight jumpsuit, but hers is pleather and sparkly… with a skirt. I don’t know this song, so I’m not sure what it’s supposed to sound like, but right now it sounds like blah, blah, blah. Oh, hotstuffbabytonight. Way to change up the song, I guess? Allison has the most texture to her voice, which makes it interesting, but the song arrangement or whatever was totally off. Simon loved it though, because she’s dressed like a black woman.

Adam Lambert – If I can’t have you – Bee Gees
Adam as usual is perfect and brilliant and I think I’m starting to soften for the guy. What has happened to me in my old age? Aren’t we supposed to get more bitter as we age? I don’t know this song, but apparently some people are really attached to the original version, so there might be some minus points there. Oh, once again after a little YouTube search I totally know that song. What is it with me not recognizing these disco tunes? I guess it’s not my genre.

Matt Giraud – Staying Alive – Bee Gees
What’s up Justin Timberlake? It’s awesome. He really took his save seriously and brought his total A game tonight. I’m loving everything about this performance; it may be the only version of this song that doesn’t inspire dogs to start howling. Randy is dead to me. Oh, Kara too. Paula finally speaks up for the sane people (whaaa?) and gives Matt the props he deserves. Simon tells him he’s the worst idol ever and America scoffs in disdain. I hate you, Simon.

Ryan takes a moment to make sure coke gets their 10 million dollars worth

Anoop Desai – Dim the Lights - Handsome
Anoop chooses a slow ballad-like song that could very well be from a movie. Even when the tempo picks up, I still feel like he’s singing at his great aunt’s 90th birthday, but no one minds because she’s so old she doesn’t know the difference. You can pluck the Idol out of MIT, but…. I’m really bored with this guy, he’s good vocally, but he doesn’t really have that star power. Simon totally has my back. I love you, Simon!

Next week only 5 Idols left to perform, whatever shall they do for filler?

Top 3 – Matt, Kris and Adam
Bottom 2 – Lil and Anoop

Top 7 Results: The Dra-Matt-ic Save

Top 7 Results: The Dra-Matt-ic Save

Last night’s show opened with lots of dramatic clips from last night – Quentin Tarantino style – which left Ryan on the stage standing backwards (Kill Bill image?) Then, the dramatic “T.I.A.I.”, Ryan coming down the stairs, and here we go – through the blue roller coaster and out to the universe to gaze back upon the blue earth from outer space.

We waste no time tonight, and immediately jump into the Ford Vommercial about being on the cover of magazines, and then just as quickly enter into the Group Song. Highlights: Anoop with a slight stumble on the stairs, Allison being a little ahead of the music, and even though Matt was front and center at the end, the last camera shot was still on Adam. Even the camera loves him.

Next we get to see footage from the kids’ world – going to see “17 Again,” the movie. Zac Efron was even there in person, and seems to still live up to reports that he is a really nice guy, saying thank you, etc. I wonder how much they paid American Idol to get such great advertising.

RESULTS: Allison=safe. Adam=safe. Anoop=Bottom 3.

Next we get to see Jennifer Hudson perform I really wasn’t blown away. I kept wondering why she kept messing with her left ear – was she adjusting her ear piece? Technical difficulties? He had some great moments – but I really wasn’t blown away. Comments?

RESULTS: Kris=safe. Lil=Bottom 3. Danny=safe. Matt=bottom 3. Then, they get to send one person to safety – Anoop!

Miley Cyrus is next. She sang “The Climb.” Hmm, really? If this what all the hype is about? I was hoping she was better. I thought she was, using Randy’s vocabulary, “a little pitchy.” But, I have to say this is probably more appropriate for the younger viewing audience than Flo Rida singing about “going down and spinning right round when you go down.” What did you guys think about Miley Cyrus? As an added bonus was that her face was completely covered by her mop of hair at the end of the song.

Next we get to the final RESULTS. Simon said he’d consider saving one person (Lil or Matt.) Lil is safe, and Matt has to sing – and I thought his singing part was better than Tuesday’s.

Then, the first time in Idol history, the judges use the dramatic SAVE! They are saving Matt. And, awe shucks, he’s in tears.

Simon comes along with the quick buzz kill and tells us that two people are going home next week and that it’s “Disco Week.”

Okay, so you all know I’m a Matt fan. I am, after all, number 150 on the Giraud Squad. But, I kinda felt it might have been his time to go. I am glad that I will get to hear him sing disco music, and am totally looking forward to next week. And, aren’t you asking yourself, “I wonder what Adam will do?” (See, that’s why he’s a superstar.)

What do you guys think of the Dra-Matt-ic save? Chime in!

Top 7: Quentin Tarantino Night, or Something Like That Night

Top 7: Quentin Tarantino Night, or something from the movies night.

Who knew Quentin Tarantino was a big American Idol fan? I didn’t. Turns out he was on season 3 as a guest judge one time? (That was before my Idol viewing days.)

Anyways….. T.I.A.I.!!!! Ryan took the lighted staircase again – without falling. We were spared the judges’ stage walk, but got to see the band in suits on stage. Nice touch. As for the judges, Randy was wearing a frat boy sweater. Kara wore a halter dress and Ryan called her provocative (?) Simon was in grey (no one is surprised,) and what the heck was Paula wearing? A bedazzled dog collar and extra long leash going down her chest?

Because of last week’s run-over (in time,) only two judges will get to speak about each contestant. This is messed up, and doesn’t seem fair, as when Simon doesn’t like something, he doesn’t spare words. We’ll see how this goes.

Who the heck was in the audience in the bandana? An aging WWF star? I think it was actually Steven Van Zandt from the E Street band. Anyone?

First up was Allison. I thought the first part was a little weak…. Couldn’t hear her words super well. But, then she rocked the house. Paula said she has that “special sauce” that Adam has. Hmm. Interesting. Simon said they could see her all the way to the end. Great compliment for her.

Next was Anoop. Quentin wanted him to “rough it up,” which I felt he didn’t end up doing. He sang really well, though, and Randy said Anoop has found his zone, he was in tune, and did a really good job. Kara also felt connected. I wonder if she is beginning to see him as a “package artist?”

Third up was Adam, with Born to Be Wild. Even Quentin Tarantino is an Adam fan, and said something about this show being about finding rock stars – and Adam is the real deal. I wrote down, after Adam sang, in big letters: A M A Z I N G! He is truly amazing. Always in tune. Incredible control of his voice. His vocal rips were unbelievable. I actually got chills. We did, however, have to endure him skipping out (awesome,) some funny hip thrusts, and smarmy looks, though. But, what do we expect? He loves musical theater - and does it well. Simon even compared it to Rocky Horror Picture Show, and Adam said he loves that show. Awesome. Paula said, “You dare to dance in the path of Greatness,” and “You are one the bravest contestants ever.” I’m thinking there needs to be a list of Paula quotes somewhere…… Wisdom by Paula….. “Dare to dance in the Path of Greatness,” etc. “Colors of the rainbow; magical; you look beautiful, etc.” Anyway, Adam was incredible and deserves to win this thing by miles.

Next was Matt singing “Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman,” by Bryan Adams. I love this song, which he proceeded to rip apart with some weird variations of the melody. Randy and Kara were not loving it, and thought he changed it up too much. Matt – you can do better!

Danny Gokey was next singing another eulogy to his wife who died. Seriously, this guy has enough emotion in him to sing any song and make it believable. I for one am not at all bothered by this, because to all those people who are bugged by him calling on this emotion and not liking it – stop it already. Not very many of us know what that does to a person, and at least he’s not mentioning it, but just using the emotion to connect to the song. Simon gave him props for the emotional connection, but didn’t like the harp and the “normal” version of the song. Paula said something about magical and beautiful.

Next was Kris, singing an awesome song, “Falling Slowly.” It was nice and good, but didn’t blow me away. Randy didn’t love it either – he called it pitchy. Kara, however, loved it and said for her, it was one of his best moments.

Last up was Lil, with straight hair, singing “The Rose.” I thought she was a little off tune at the beginning, but still liked seeing her Diva Gospel side come out at the end. I couldn’t figure out if Paula liked it or not…. She said some Paula-ism that I didn’t get. (See we need the book along with a translation. “You look beautiful tonight = song was not great. Etc.) Then, Simon totally nailed her about not picking the right song, her not being as great as she was weeks ago, and did you catch the jab he gave her after Allison sang? He said to Allison, “You might be the only hope for the girls,” or something close. That was before Lil even sang! So, Lil apparently had enough of Simon, and attempted to recite a whole soliloquy about how she chose a beautiful song and added her own R&B spin on it and kept talking and talking. Then Paula broke in with a Paula-ism which was something about the people who matter and "the road is long." Lil was trying to open a can of whoop-ass but that never really looks good on stage after critiques.
Okay, what do you guys think? Who is safe? (Duh.) Who is not safe?

Idol says goodbye to "One classy Gentleman"

Idol opened last night with lots of drama, dimmed lights, and, of course, Ryperbole. "Blah blah blah.... Whose dream is on the line?" T.I.A.I. And, we will also be treated to Flo Rida and Kelly Pickler. Oh, goodie.

We get to see the judges: Randy with overgrown paisleys on his shoulders... or amoebas, Kara in purple, Paula in a wedding dress and gloves (why?,) and Simon in the elimination night color - black.

Next we get filler - doctored photos of Paula and Simon. Awe, shucks, these producers are hilarious. Then, we get to see Frankie Avalon on video from 1959..... and then, Frankie magically appears in person. This was probably the best part of the night.... because his voice still sounds so good! The judges seemed surprised and tickled, too. That's kind of cool.

Next we get to see the filming of the Ford Vommercial. I actually wanted to see more of dramatic vaudeville Adam.......but, we only got to see seconds of the kids and the costumes and makeup deserved more. I loved Allison saying her favorite part was the costumes and makeup... she is still a teenager, after all.

Then the judges all get a chance to say how awesome they think Adam is because they didn't get to last night, and he humbly said he was very flattered by Simon's standing "o" and seems humble despite his awesomeness.

RESULTS: Adam, safe (shocker!) Kris, safe. (Bummer for my picks!) Anoop - bottom three.
I actually thought Anoop was better than Kris last night.

Then, we got to see Flo Rida with his sunglasses, huge guns for arms, and his posse that Ryan called his harem. I spent most of the time trying to figure out what the girls were wearing - white underwear? Oh, yes- silver hot pants, of course. The girl singing with him had a huge voice and an attitude to go with it. I enjoyed this performance more than Kanye's, I have to say. But, what is up with the huge egos of these guys? At least Flo Rida made a comment about "roots" - overcoming, etc. I liked that. Admiration for overcoming adversity is a good thing.

Speaking of overcoming.......I think Idol overcame the judges walk to the front of the stage.... it was missing Tuesday night. Did anyone notice that?

More RESULTS! Danny - safe. Matt- safe. Scott - bottom three.

Then, we get to see Kelly Pickler, and we are reminded of the fact that she's not that great of a singer. She gave us her charm, though, when she said she was trying not to pop a seam. That is lovable about her.... her humanity.

RESULTS: Lil, safe. Anoop, safe. Scott - bottom three. The judges said that two of them wanted him to stay, and two wanted him to go. Thank goodness he gets to go, because his next song would probably sound the same as all the others. Nice guy, though. Paula said it perfectly when she said, "You are one classy gentleman."

So, how are you guys doing? I fell down 2 spots in one of my pools - bummer! I should have gone with my first instinct. Chime in all. Anything to add?

Top 8 Perform Some Stuff!

Another week of Idol, another week of Fun? This week is Baby Photo Week, also known as Sing a Song From the Year You Were Born Week. Since most of the contestants fall in the 1980-1992 range I was hoping for some awesome Hits of the 80’s, but maybe they are saving that for 80’s Night. Here’s to hoping!

Before we start the show we are subjected to baby photos of all the judges, just to make it fair and all. Randy is adorable in that precocious child wearing a bowtie way. Kara looks like she doodied in her diaper. Paula is at least 7 in her photo which raises a lot of questions that I won’t get into at the moment. Simon is also 7 in his photo, but dressed like a Trekkie and it’s awesome; laser gun and all. Last but not least Ryan has the most amazing buck teeth ever seen on a child in the history of the world. Paula wants to feed him carrots. Love!

Danny Gokey – Stand By Me – Ben E. King
Danny kicks off the night and I’m sighing at the prospect of another dedication to his dead wife. He surprises me (and all the other cynical asses out there) by singing this classic. Oh wait, this song isn’t about boys finding dead bodies in the woods, it’s about the night, and not being afraid, and please don’t leave me ever spirit of my dead wife. Damn you Gokey, I’ll get you for this. The song itself starts out terrible, kind of picks it up in the end but I don’t like his version. Danny’s got talent for sure, he just needs to stop being a complete tool. Paula is spewing nonsense, as well as nonsensical dancing. That was really not that good. Simon thinks its great. Boo!

Kris Allen – All She Wants To Do Is Dance – Don Henley
Is there something wrong with me? Or is this starting out as the worst night of Idol ever? Do I say that every week? Sorry. Kris wanted to grow up to be a Taxi Cab driver, which was my dream too! (for about a year, after watching Wynona Rider in Night on Earth) Perhaps if Kris became a singing taxi cab driver he would make a ton of money! He could be like a novelty person that they feature on some seldom watched TV show. He’s gotten a bit too confident after last week’s performance. This is way too cheesy. Plus this song sucks. And those drums and his mic skills are not helping him. Melodically Same Notes Song, Paula? Is that a genre of music I’m not familiar with? Really? Simon finally owns his own hotness. Woot!

Lil Rounds – What’s Love Got To Do With It – Tina Turner
Lil has got some pipes, and she looks REALLY good tonight. It’s the best performance so far, but I’m not loving it. This leaves a lot of room for Adam to steal the show. Simon calls it a ghastly copycat performance. Lil looks like she’s just had her heart cut out. Aw Lil, she makes me want to cry. But she does look hot tonight.

Anoop Desai – True Colors – Cindy Lauper
Anoop apologizes for being a fratty douchebag last week, and I’m not talking about his song. Anoop and I share the only child curse of having a million pictures taken of us as a kid. Once some people came over to my house and thought my parents had five daughters. FIVE! Ooof. What is he wearing? I’m pretty sure I also owned that cardigan in about the 5th grade. When did he get so nasally? Is that supposed to be an R&B version? I still kind of enjoyed it though. Go Figure.

Scott McIntyre– The Search Is Over – Survivor
Oh my Gosh. How awesome would it be if Scott came out and just started playing spooky Halloween music on the piano with some ghostly moaning and sudden screaming? (If I produced Idol I’m pretty sure only mental patients and those with tourettes would watch it) In the real world he starts out pretty good with him on the mic, and completely falls apart when the band kicks it to high gear. Those high notes make me cringe. The music is completely discordant with his singing. Who is this in the audience? Hello! Scott totally has a hottie for a brother! Hubba hubba. Hope you are still here next week, Hot Brother!

Allison Iraheta – I Can’t Make You Love Me – Bonnie Raitt
Allison definitely went through some serious style phases as a child. Unfortunately what she’s wearing these days isn’t much better. Only a very slight improvement over last week, but she sounds GREAT! She’s got the total Bonnie Raitt voice without sounding like an imitation. Amanda Obermeyer could take a lesson or two from little Allison. Here come the Kelly Clarkson comparisons.

Matt Girard – Part Time Lovers – Stevie Wonder
My gracious friend Scott pointed out the mole on Matt’s forehead to me last night, and now I can’t stop staring at it. Thanks for that Scottie! Holy baby Forhead! (minus the mole) He’s so adorable. Oh good, he’s wearing a hat. This is pretty good. I like his interpretation, and the scatting didn’t suck. The judges are shitting their pants, which I find kind of funny. But I also thinks he totally deserves it.

Adam Lambert – Mad World – Tears for Fears
Who is that freckley redheaded kid? He’s so cute. What happened? This song totally reminds of something that I can’t put my finger on*. He looks like he’s sitting in the chair because he has to crap. Not sure if the surfer chic hairdo really suits him. He performs the song really well. It’s just about perfect for his range and his voice. However I don’t think he deserved a standing O from Simon. I thought Matt and Allison were better tonight.

Top 3 – Allison, Matt & Adam
Bottom 3 – Scott, Danny & Kris

*Oh yes, Danny Darko. Thanks internets (Go Sparkle Motion!)